Chad Warden visits the Smash Mansion
by Coldsteel Da Hedgeheg
Summary: For those of you who don't know, Chad Warden is a 2006 youtuber who bashed nintendo, you damn 13 year old scrubs! Anyways, he is back and more ballin' than ever. Join Chad Warden as he reforms the Smash Mansion from the inside. As he tries to make each Smasher ABAP, the Smash Mansion will never be the same. My second attempt at a fanfic. First ever Chad Warden fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

It was just another regular Friday evening at the Smash Mansion. Except today the smashers were having a block party. Samba music was playing in the background. Yoshi, Olimar, and Toon link were wearing coconut bras and assorted fruit hats as they danced to the beat of the music. Mario was grilling all sorts of food such as steaks, sausages, chorizo, slovakian cheeses, onions, asparagus, chicken, and watermelon to name a few. "Hey, Peach, go get me some prawns so I can set them on the barbie," Mario said in an Australian accent. Peach headed over to the kitchen, opened the fridge, took out the shrimp, and headed back outside. "Just what I needed! Thank you so much-a!" Mario thanked Peach, now in his regular accent.

On the farthest, right-hand side of the Smash Mansion, a couple of smashers were playing volleyball. Samus (in her zerosuit), Palutena, Lucina, and the original Villager (the red '1' shirt) were on one team- on the other side were Zelda, Female Robin, Rosalina, and Roy of Pherae. The villager's team was winning.

On the left side DK, King dedede, Ike, Mewtwo, Crhom, and Waluigi were all eating and drinking beer. They were all arguing over who was manlier. "Hey, just look at my muscles!" DK shouted. "Heh! That's nothing. I got ripped within a period of just 3 years," Ike stated as he flexed his biceps. "Oh. That's nothing ya'll. I'm a damn king! Therefore, I'm the manliest," King DDD said in his 4kids anime voice, as he chuckled. Waluigi and Chrom kept quiet since they were upset about not be playable characters.

"Hey, big boy. How about you give me one of those grilled sausages," Yoshi jokingly said trying to imitate a seductive tone, he shook his chest, making his coconut bra jiggle. "Oh! Hoho! Silly Yoshi. Here you go! One grilled sausage with a side of onions," the chef Mario said as he set the food on a paper plate, he then handed it to Yoshi. "Oh, thanks, baby. You are such a doll!" Yoshi said, sill in a joking tone as he winked at Mario. The green dino then left the dance floor and sat next to the adults at the eating area.

At the kids table were toon Link, bowser jr., kirby, pikachu, ness, popo & nana, Lucas, and Jigglypuff. Toon Link was screaming and grunting like a retard, he threw food around at everyone and chewed his food with his mouth open. "Man, I hate sitting next to this guy. When will we be allowed at the grown-up table?" Lucas told Ness while pointing at Toon Link. The skirt-wearing elf then got up and stood on the table, he danced while throwing plates at everyone -dropping food everywhere. Masterhand saw this and approached Toon Link. "That's it! I have seen enough. I told you to behave, yet you can't manage to control yourself. I'm taking you to your room!" an angry Masterhand told the trouble-making hylian. Masterhand grabbed toon Link the back of his shirt and dragged him inside the mansion. Toon Link squirmed around, kicking and screaming, he tried to grab on to everything along the way to escape Masterhand's clutches -but it was impossible to escape his grasp. With that nuisance gone, everyone at the kid's table cheered and celebrated his leave -they were now able to enjoy their meals peacefully.

"Oh boy! Nothing beats a picnic like-a this, eh, Luigi?" Mario told his brother. "Oh yeh! And just as I hoped, the Princess made lotsa spaghetti!" Luigi replied.

Just then a nice, slick, black 2015 Cadillac XTS was driving by. The car had "We Fly High" by Jim Jones on full blast, it was so loud everything within a two mile radius vibrated.

All the smashers could hear was

"We fly high, no lie, you know this (Balling!)

Foreign rides, outside, it's like showbiz (We in the building)  
We stay fly, no lie, you know this (Balling)  
Hips and thighs, oh my, stay focus

Ya boy getting paper (Money), I buy big cars (Foreign)  
I need fly rides to drive in my garage (Choose 1)  
Stay sky high (Twisted), fly wit the stars (Twinkle, Twinkle)  
T 4? Flights, 80 grand large (Balling!)  
So we lean wit it, pop wit it (Bankhead)  
Vertible Jones, mean wit the top listen (Flossing)  
I'm saying clean wit bottom kit  
(Do It)  
I hoped out saggy, jeans and my rock glistening (Balling!)  
But I spent bout 8 grand  
Mami on stage doing the rain dance (I think she like me)  
She let it hit the floor, made it pop (What else?!)"

As the car approached the Smash Mansion, the driver lowered the volume. He began to slowly open the window on his side. The smashers just stood their in shock, someone has interrupted their party. The window finally came all the way down, the driver's identity was now revealed -it was none other than the ps4 fanboy, Chad Warden.

"B*thces. Sup, b*tches!" Chad Warden greeted.

Everyone's eyes widened and jaws dropped. They were astonished to see that this guy out of all people would ever stop by their residence, and on a day they had a party no less.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Chad Warden got out of his car and approached Mario - who is pretty much the man of the house, honestly. "It's Chad Warden here, aight? Talkin' 'bout dat ps quadruple," Chad Warden told Mario. Everyone was quiet, focusing on what the uninvited guest came to say. Mario's face turned red with anger, steam blew out his ears, he frowned really hard, gnashing his teeth. The silence and awkwardness of the situation intensified. Once Mario finally managed to get the words out of his mouth, that the anger made it hard to do, he yelled at the top of his lungs "I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" Mario couldn't control his frustration at the sight of the party-crasher. The italian plumber flipped the barbecue grill he had in front of him, throwing it towards Chad Warden. Chad, startled by Mario's reaction, quickly backed away before the grill could fall on him. The grill's lid, cooking grid, and charcoal grid were scattered across the floor -as well as the cobs of corn, beef patties, onions, and burning charcoal that were in it. The still burning fuel landed on the grass, nearly starting a fire. Luckily, squirtle ran towards the charcoal and put out the flames before they spread.

"WHAT THE HECK-A DO YOU WANT-A?!" Mario shouted in a ballistic tone. "Whoa! Mario, mah nigga! Is this how you be receiving guests? I drove all the way from H-Town in my caddy just to see you," Chad Warden replied as he tried to calm Mario down. " Don't-a think we forgot about your-a 2006 youtube video! You said the wiimote looked like a dildo, you bastard!" Mario uttered with the tone of his voice lowered -he was still in choleric mood, however. "Heh! That reminds me. That wii u remote? That shit look like a maxi pad!" Chad warden joked, having briefly forgotten to watch his words, so as not to offend Mario further. Chad Warden's inconsiderate jest managed to infuriate Mario, who was previously beginning to calm down.

Mario's body began to shake uncontrollably, foam began to come out of his mouth. He clenched his fist tightly as it began to emit fire. Shocked by Mario's frightful body expressions, Chad Warden attempted once more to calm hi down. "My bad! Sorry, Mario. It wasn't a dis or nothin' I was just playin' calm down, mah nigga!" Chad Warden said, trying to be as condescending as he possibly could. "THEN-A STOP TRYING TO PISS ME OFF," Mario yelled inflamed.

Once again Mario began to calm down. This time Chad Warden made an effort to try and avoid saying anything that can trigger the nintendo star's rage. "Aight, listen, nigga. I'm just here to help ya'll," the sony fanboy concluded. "EXPLAIN!" Mario demanded, still skeptical regarding Warden's intentions. "Aight. Thing is I heard about them Wii U sales. PS4 and Xbox One be outsellin' ya'll," Chad Warden declared, he paused for a moment to make sure he didn't agitate Mario so far. "So... mah nigga. I'm here to give each of ya'll a ballin' gangsta makeover! That way we can attract various other demographics to your games. And that's the shit, Chad Warden all about the games, baby!" Chad Warden continued.

Mario still didn't trust Chad one bit, so he lunged toward him and grabbed him by his shirt's collar with one hand, while the other one began to produce flames. Just then Master hand, who was behind the Mansion's front door -listening to the whole conversation after locking up toon Link in his room- barged out of the Mansion yelling "Stop!"

Mario and Chad turned their heads to see the floating hand running towards them. "Mario, let him go! He has a point," said Master hand. Mario released Warden, pushing him away from himself. "B-But, Master hand?!" Mario remarked surprised. "No 'buts' about it! As owner of this Mansion, I say we should allow this gentleman to aid us in saving the Wii U. Even if it means changing our games up a bit. We NEED the money... Why do you think I changed our cable from the 'Premium' package to the 'Economy' channel line-up?" Master hand admitted. Mario snapped his fingers saying "No wonder I couldn't-a find the National Geographic channel!" Every other smasher also realized that a number of the Mansion's services did decrease in quality lately, not just the cable.

"Which is why I have come to the conclusion that if ,Chad, here can help you all draw in more customers for your games, then what have we got to lose?" Masterhand stated as the rest of the smashers agreed with each other that, indeed, they really had nothing to lose. Master hand then pointed at Chad as he said "Alright, Chad Daddy, we will let you stay in the mansion for as long as you need to give these guys one of those 'ballin makeovers', maybe you can give one to me afterwards," Masterhand told Chad as he shook himself with Chad's hand, sealing the deal. "Oh, you know it, nigga! Chad Warden always wins, Chad Warden always wins!" Chad assured his new business partner. Master hand then snapped his fingers, summoning 4 generic toads. "Toads, prepare a room for our guest here. He is going to start anew golden age for everyone here in Nintendo City!" Masterhand ordered. The toads all saluted Masterhand in agreement and ran inside the Mansion. Suddenly, everyone hears the sounds of hammers and power tools coming from the third floor. Shortly after, they witness Toon Link being tossed out the window, falling to his death. A yellow Toad quickly replaces the window, making it as good as new. Seconds later, the Toads go back downstairs to Masterhand. "Sir, we couldn't find a vacant room, so we remodeled Toon Link's room to fit Chad Warden's tastes. Sorry, about tossing him out the window, he didn't want to move to the attic. Don't worry though, we ill bury him immediately!" A green Toad explains to Masterhand. "Splendid!" Masterhand cheered, handing over Chad Warden the keys to his new room.

The Toads then stuffed Toon Link's corpse in a black trash bag and boarded a white minivan. They drove hundreds of miles away to dispose of the body.

"Alright, everyone! Let's continue our barbaque as we celebrate the newest member of the Smash Mansion!" Masterhand said excitedly.

Chad partied and ate various grilled foods with the smashers all night. Tomorrow he would begin with his first "ABAP makeover."


End file.
